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Writer's pictureCanda Mueller

Signs

I'm not a believer in "signs," but I sure do appreciate every red cardinal that I see. I think of my mom or my dad or my grandpa, depending upon where I am or what I'm doing because I often wonder what they'd think about what I'm doing.


We were hit by a tornado in mid-May. Our house is a total loss. Our big barn needs an entire roof, along with some red iron work. We have debris and downed trees everywhere. BUT! Our animals are okay-- everyone is getting pink eye vaccines, and some are getting doctored for pink eye.


This experience has been... a lot. Our world is in upheaval. We're living in a camper, our market is now our living room because a camper doesn't keep up with 95+ degree temperatures. I find that I'm interpreting everything as one of those signs that I didn't believe in...


My doctorate diploma? Crumpled into a wet bit of detritus. My grandpa's 1919 diploma from automobile and tractor school? Almost totally intact. (I'm getting it framed.) This felt like a message that, while some consulting is okay, I'm supposed to be giving more energy to this place that Grandpa started.


My dad's old blue dodge? Completely ruined. My bigger Ram that I use to haul more cattle than we ever could before? Relatively minor damage that's pretty easy to fix. This felt like a message to let go of the past. Keep the memories, but don't let it be such an anchor that we don't grow.


I love shaking things up. Doing things differently than everyone else is my jam. But, when you're also trying to honor the generations that came before, it feels good to get some confirmation that you're doing the right thing. Our lives were changed on May 19th in ways that we don't even know yet. But, change isn't bad. It's a necessity, and we embrace it, no matter how uncomfortable it is.


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